Lunch: Mac and Cheese
Eating now: Orange Spice Banana Bread I made about a little while ago.
The reason I have not posted in awhile can either be squared away as Sessy either being lazy and doing other things, like GPX or Dragcave(or Neopets. Those paintbrushes are EXPENSIVE), while the other, much more noble one, Sessy staying up too late doing homework to get online.
Needless to say, it honestly could go either way.
There was a day this last week where I was so tired that I didn't even start up the computer, just ate and went to bed.
I'm going to change the subject, but since this is a big reason I took the time to sit and write a post, you can't be mad. Not that you would be.. RIGHT?!. :D
Usually it takes well into October for it to officially start feeling like Autumn, or Fall.
Today it actually felt like Fall. The smells of Fall, things like Nutmeg, Cinnamon and Pumpkin filled our home and brought the beautifully nostalgic feeling of warmth and for me, happiness, laced with a undertone of slight sadness. I have always enjoyed Autumn, it is not only the season I was born in, but I love the coldness, the nip in the air. Fall is also when McAll's Pumpkin Patch is open. It's a literal pumpkin patch, where you can go pick your own pumpkin and, for a fee, take it home with you. They also have a small gift shop and a few other attractions. They also, for about a week in late October, have Halloween themed activities. They have a haunted Hayride, a haunted Maize Maze and a couple of 'scare houses'. We've only gone twice to the haunted attractions. I rode the Haunted Hayride with my mom, and I went into one of the scare houses that actually disturbed me quite a bit. The premise of it was we were cattle, about to be slaughtered. Except there was a part where there was a table and refrigerator set up with fake human body parts scattered around, so it wasn't so much that it was an undertone of we were cattle, it was more that we were humans in some crazy cannibal's barn. Not that there's a sane cannibal. Anyway, we were also there one night, pretty late because my brother wanted to go through one of the Halloween attractions, and I didn't, and my sister was too young at the time, by my parents reckoning. So me, my sister and dad all sat in their cafe area that was a big converted barn with a stage, and they were playing typical Halloween music over the PA system. That is one of the places I heard Thriller all the way through. That is one of the things I remember most about that day. Vincent Price's very recognizable voice laughing at the pure absurdness of our frightened psyche as we imagine people turning into werewolves all around us and zombies coming out of the ground to chase us.
Growing up, I also was almost afraid of coming out and listening to Michael Jackson where my mom would know. For fear of being reprimanded by my mother, because she didn't like him, just for the fact that he was black. It was only a little bit later in life that I found out my mother, like myself, had a slight crush on him from his early days as a soloist. Like in Just Beat It. That was the first MJ song I ever heard. First video too. At that point, I was used to seeing the white Michael Jackson and all the scandals swirling about him.
Another reason it's so nostalgic, because I met my now ex on a cold Autumn day.
Since then, I seemingly always go to the outfit I was wearing when I met him because it's warm, on the first or second day of Autumn. It's a pair of baggy but slim-waist fuzzy gray sweat type pants that are extra long and a fitted long sleeved Jack Skellington shirt. The whole date was last minute, my friend calling me, and asking if I'd be willing to go on a double date. I said sure, and just went as I was. My blind date was dressed in a nice leather jacket and there I was in pajama-like sweat pants. After awhile he told me he was glad that he didn't feel he had to keep up a front and shed his leather. Things after that were kind of history. And he also left on a cold night. But that is not here or there. Not many blind dates(and a double date at that) turn out well. Many of my friends would ask if I was with the same "blind date guy" every single time they saw me.
It's been days since I even looked at this, I got busy before I could finish it. So, I'll just end it there, a big ol' cliffhanger of sorts.
Ending Thought: "Life becomes easier when you learn to accept the apology you never got."
The ending thought was from one of those "take what you need" papers with the flaps with things written on the front. I was looking at them after school when I ran up to get my leftovers out of the school fridge.
Acceptance had this written on the back, and it instantly kind of hit me deeply.
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